Mr Monday is an amazing boy. But his loving gentle side is covered with a thorny shrub.

Some have commented on the thorns of his soul. But I know, behind all that he is the best boy I do not deserve.

I sometimes look back and I feel wholly responsible. I was severely depressed during the pregnancy. I was put on high dose anti depressants. I’m sure those would have affected his development.

Post partum wasn’t easy either, and growing up as a toddler he has went through so much. (For courtesy purpose, I removed what I’ve wrote here on other individuals impact on him, but just know that Monday has went through a lot.)

There are so many things I wished I’ve done differently for him, if I ever could. But life isn’t a game, there’s no save point or a restart button.

If anyone is unhappy with my child, they should direct it to me, and not him. If he hadn’t had me as his mother, he probably would have been the most perfect child anyone would have met. But he had the short straw, he had no choice. He had me to be his mother.

In my eyes, both Monday and Tuesday are still, the most… Perfect soul… Whatever others may perceive.

I’m glad Lil Tuesday didn’t went through all that. To be fair I was on two max dose antidepressants when I carried her, but her life post partum was a lot better than Monday. Despite my 3months admission to the hospital when she was 4m, well she barely remembered anything. But for Mr Monday, whether he remembered it or not, I know it scarred him forever not to be able to see his mother for 3 whole months. I also took extra courses for mother’s empowerment when I had her. I was a different mother to both of them.

I will forever owe Monday. I will also forever owe Tuesday for the guilt I have for Monday.