Tag: life

I used to wonder as a child, why do people enjoy alcohol. They are bitter and dry. They doesn’t even taste nice in the first place.

But I have two to six cups of coffee now without sugar. Yet I still don’t enjoy the taste of alcohol. It was never about the bitter taste was it?

If there isn’t any bitterness in this world, will we ever stop to savour the sweetness in life?

Or do we at one point get hooked to the bitterness?

Is that why we torment ourselves by bringing on situations that clearly causes suffering?

Life is such a mystery. We all live day by day filled with endless questions hoping that they will one day be answered at the end of our last breath. I am afraid there will never be an answer. Only unanswered questions that will haunt us even in the afterlife.

大白 fell ill recently. We tried to fix her up, I even drained ~750ml of ascitic fluid from her. She was perking up, standing up and started to drink on her own.

Mojuju decided that it’s a good idea to kick her out to the backyard despite my protest. But he did it anyway while I was at work. When I came home, she could no longer stand on her feet.

We don’t know exactly what happened. Was it because she was still recovering and he did that? Was it that her suspected ovarian cancer worsened? I guess we’ll never know. But it’s been 2 days now that she has lost the ability to stand or even sit straight.

It’s likely ovarian cancer. Hens has 35% chance of getting ovarian cancer at age of 2, and it obviously increases every year then. She’s over 4, and ovarian cancer is the most likely cause of ascites.

I want to put her to sleep but Mojuju thinks it’s cruel. I think it’s cruel to keep her in pain. We couldn’t come to an agreement.

My only hope, is that she can rest in peace. My baby, she has been such a good girl. Silkies are always docile, and she is the epitome of a silkie. Delicate, docile, feminine and gentle.

I told her it’s OK to leave, she’s done a good job now.

On one hand, we have baby chicks (unintended hatching by a rogue stubborn girl), on one hand we have 大白 who at the doorstep of death. It’s okay. It’s a circle of life. We should celebrate her completing her journey. She’s finally at the end, and she’s done so well.

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